Stories, Poems and Other Stuff...

Saturday, July 05, 2014

Fear..Healthy Fear..Common Sense

 



As a writer I am forced to research certain topics in order to have some sort of subject knowledge. I must admit that I really like that aspect of writing. It enables me to learn something new, find obscure facts that help me win a game of Trivial Pursuit, and gives me the ability to correct people when they are talking out their asses. Okay, that last part never happens. I am usually the one talking out my ass.

There is a damn good reason I stumbled upon the topic of phobias.

The actual bunny trail started on a holiday outing with the family and friends. There we were, enjoying each others company, conversation and food. These events, more often than not, involve each family bringing some sort of food contribution. Everybody loads up their plates and feasts like its the last meal any of us will ever eat. (Merica!) Afterwards, we sit around, watch the kids do what kids do, talk, drink and mosey back to the table to pick at food.

I was sitting at the table, minding my own business, munching on a bag of chips. I was content. Out of nowhere one of the rugrats sat down next to me, grabbed the bag of chips and started eating. The problem is the little fellas process in eating those chips.

Hand in bag.
Chips to mouth.
Lick the flavor off his fingers.
Hand back in bag.

He must have decided that he had his fill and handed the bag back to me, taking off to the playground of dismemberment and death.

I threw up a little in my mouth at the thought of what kind of nasty microbe was lurking in that bag. I sat it down. No sooner had I sat it down another kid grabbed it and proceeded to do the same thing. I found out days later that all of the kids there that day had gotten sick. All of them except that little Typhoid Kevin who was the first to grab that bag of chips from me.

As I recalled that fateful day I found myself wondering if I was being unreasonable. Was my concern a healthy one, or did I have a phobia...Off to the internet for free medical diagnosis I went.

Here is an interesting fact. There are a lot of phobias!

Here is another fact. Some of the names associated with some of these phobias will throw you off, and others are spot on.

An example of this would be spermophobia. At first glance, one would think that it is a fear of sperm. But no, it's not that simple. It means a fear of germs.

How about bathophobia? Fear of baths it is not. It is the fear of depth.

What the hell?



Some are down right funny and I cannot believe they are actual fears.

Macrophobia: The fear of long waits. (I suffer from this to the point of anger.)

Politicophobia: The fear of politicians.

Pogonophobia: The fear of beards. (I am slightly pogonophobic in that I only fear beards worn by hipsters.)

Hierophobia. The fear of priests. (I am not too sure if this is an unhealthy fear)

Dikephobia: The fear of justice. (Okay, that made me snicker.)

Coprophobia: The fear of feces. (I think this applies to most of us)


After reading the list of phobias, I am compelled to add one more to that list.

Boogerdigitsinmychipbagphobia: the fear of kids reaching into a bag of chips.










© Charles Scott 2014

Monday, June 16, 2014

This is My Last Political Commentary Poem (or so it seems)



To all who are concerned, those reading this, and anyone half interested:

This is my last political commentary poem.
You see, I feel I have exhausted this topic
and am growing bored with it all.
Maybe I will write a sonnet, an ode
or a beautiful poem to some backwoods retreat.
Maybe I will explore more free verse
that tells the stories of people encountered...

a voice for the voiceless.

Of course, I reserve the right to rescind this declaration
in the event another Bush is elected
to the White House, or the population
of the Rotund Rascal Riders reaches 30 percent.

If at any time the Tea Party is actually taken seriously
I will have to take up my pen.
This is a moral obligation
that negates anything else I may have said
or written.

(When the snake of stupidity rears its doltish head, one must cut said head off to save oneself from madness.)

Viva la Revolution!

So, until then I leave with this:

Our freedom is a facade
covering corruption.

True freedom is within our minds.
True freedom lies within you.

When all else fails,
fight!

Fascism is alive and well
fighting the war on
terrorism.

Slavery is present
in the quest for everyday
low prices.

Racism survived the
holocaust of
equal opportunity.



© Charles Scott 2014

Monday, June 09, 2014

Thinking About Life Choices That Didn't Revolve Around Me

 
To be a true PUNK
is to be what
your parents
were not.

To cast aside
your desires,
aspirations,
fucking dreams,
for those
you brought into
this world.

Never trust a hippie.
They will always
follow
their
libido.

Real PUNKS
are what
their parents
never
were.

PARENTS!

© Charles Scott 2014

Sunday, June 08, 2014

From Russia With Love


 
 I was checking out my stats tonight and I noticed that there are 10 Russians who have been checking out my blog. It could also be Snowden checking 10 times. Hard to tell. 

I will read for food and vodka...and a plane ticket (round trip) cheap cigars and those little babushka dolls,

Charles Scott: Juggler of Words and Thoughts  ·  Stats  ›  Audience

Pageviews by Countries

Graph of most popular countries among blog viewers
EntryPageviews
United States
66
Russia
10
Germany
4
United Kingdom
1
Luxembourg
1
Malaysia
1
Slovenia
1
Ukraine
1

Pageviews by Browsers

EntryPageviews
Firefox
40 (47%)
Internet Explorer
32 (37%)
Chrome
12 (14%)
Safari
1 (1%)
Image displaying most popular browsers

Pageviews by Operating Systems

EntryPageviews
Windows
71 (83%)
Macintosh
13 (15%)
iPhone
1 (1%)
Image displaying most popular platforms
Send feedback





© Charles Scott 2014

Screaming Sundays

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Do you write?
Do you spend endless hours reading and writing?
Click this link and engage!

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Advice




Never pass on the chance to use a toilet.
This is especially prudent when traveling eastward
from Barstow.
Sure, you can pull off to the side of the road,
but you run into the chance of getting bit by a scorpion
with your pants down. Nobody wants to leave a corpse
that way.
Don't eat seafood in Kansas City, or anywhere within
a 800 mile radius.
Doing so will swear one off of lobster forever.
Trust me on this one.
Never pick your nose in traffic.
You are not invisible while in your car.
Make sure to tell those dear to you that you
love them.
Make sure to tell your adversaries that you
hate them.
Say hi to your mailman. He has a hard job and enjoys idle
chit chat.
Create at least one thing in your life.
Children don't count. That's a colaboraton.
Clean out your wallet once in a while.
Sometimes you'll find cash that you forgot about
because you are getting older.
Don't tell others what to do.
Don't let others tell you what
to do.
Never make your bed.
Drink a lot of beer in moderation.
Only shop at Walmart for entertainment.
Be all that you can be,
but not in the Army.
Most of all,
don't listen to the advice from anyone
willing to give it freely.


© Charles Scott 2014

*I may have to add to this as time goes by*

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Parent of the Year (or, making beer money with dad)

 


CRACK!
I never saw the old man
move that fast.
I mean, one minute he's
holding a cue, the next
he's hitting this poor mark
with 18 oz of wood
on the side of the head.
That poor guy didn't see
it coming.
Hell, I didn't see it
coming.
"C'mon, we gotta go,"
I tell my dad as he is grabbing the guys money
off the table.
I pull dad along as stunned,
angry,
rednecks
start to head our way.
Okay, let me tell you,
I thought I was dead,
or at best
left in a coma
if we didn't leave.
If he weren't my dad
I would have left him.
I know any other
hustling,
drunk,
septuagenarian
would have died that night.
I pushed the old man
into the Cordoba,
prayed it would
start. (it did)
We peeled away,
no headlights in the
rear view.
"How much did we make?"
I asked.
"$40.00."
The rest of the ride home
was silent.



© Charles Scott 2014

Monday, May 26, 2014

From Matthew J. Hall

 This needs to be in a physical form that fits into a back pocket to be taken out more often than not and read.



From the Depths and Through the Madness

From Matthew J. Hall

 This needs to be in a physical form that fits into a back pocket to be taken out more often than not and read.



From the Depths and Through the Madness

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Rainy Day

Rainy Day

Kicking Myself In The Ass

Saturday mornings are generally quiet times for me. After having to wake up at 5:30 for the last twenty or so years, my body has been conditioned to wake up at the same time each day. I like the chance for quiet reflection, reading, writing and clearing my head from the hectic week before. This Saturday I was on my third cup of coffee, catching up on blogs and emails when I found myself thinking about where I am in regards to my poetry, writing and where I want to go with all of this “artistic” endeavor.

This age of blogs and social networking has made it easy to be a part of any community without actually being in physical contact. I am part of a few poetry groups on Facebook. I regularly check out what others are doing within the poetry scene locally. Yet it has occurred to me that I do not get out and physically network with people. Okay, networking sounds like a selfish, look at me approach. What I am trying to convey here is that I don't get out and interact with other writers and poets in my area (and there are a lot of stellar poets and writers in Kansas City) In the last year I have been to one poetry reading. Just one. I really enjoyed it. I always have the intention of going to any of the regularly scheduled readings, events and so on. Somehow life gets in the way. (usually in the form of a twelve hour day, on call schedule and everyday existence)

This got me to thinking about the number one excuse people, who say they are writers, use when trying to justify their lack of progress. The, “I don't have enough time to write.” defense.

A lot of writers, those writing, have full time jobs that have nothing to do with writing. They also have families, bills and are forced to do the menial tasks needed for everyday life. I know Bukowski had a shitty time suck job. I also know he did his own laundry at the laundromat. (I watched Born Into This the other night and he was filmed loading his laundry into his car) I am pretty sure Vonnegut mowed his own lawn. Hell, he even sold two stroke Saabs after his first published novel!

I write this with lofty aspirations of being a full time writer one day. This may be realized on the day of my retirement from plumbing. It may come sooner. I don't know. I have never been good at reading the stars. Like any other occupation, I know that I will have to get out and meet people, join a group or workshop. When I decided to put more time and effort into writing I knew it would be hard. It has paid off in, if nothing else, the satisfaction in knowing that I am creating something. Knowing that, in the truest sense, I am a Writer. Now I just need to get out and present it.

So, to the poets and writers in Kansas City I want to say thank you for inviting me to events. I ask that you continue to do so. I also ask that, if you see me in a bookstore, walking down the street or driving through Kansas City that you would grab me by the neck and force me to attend something. I am easily lured by whiskey, beer and sometimes cheese.

Also, after checking out my blog stats, I have noticed that I have been getting hits from the U.K., Germany, Lithuania, France and the U.S.A.. Let it be known, I like to travel. Hit me up. As I said before, I am easily lured by whiskey, beer and sometimes cheese. I am always lured by cash.



© Charles Scott 2014

Kicking Myself In The Ass

Saturday mornings are generally quiet times for me. After having to wake up at 5:30 for the last twenty or so years, my body has been conditioned to wake up at the same time each day. I like the chance for quiet reflection, reading, writing and clearing my head from the hectic week before. This Saturday I was on my third cup of coffee, catching up on blogs and emails when I found myself thinking about where I am in regards to my poetry, writing and where I want to go with all of this “artistic” endeavor.

This age of blogs and social networking has made it easy to be a part of any community without actually being in physical contact. I am part of a few poetry groups on Facebook. I regularly check out what others are doing within the poetry scene locally. Yet it has occurred to me that I do not get out and physically network with people. Okay, networking sounds like a selfish, look at me approach. What I am trying to convey here is that I don't get out and interact with other writers and poets in my area (and there are a lot of stellar poets and writers in Kansas City) In the last year I have been to one poetry reading. Just one. I really enjoyed it. I always have the intention of going to any of the regularly scheduled readings, events and so on. Somehow life gets in the way. (usually in the form of a twelve hour day, on call schedule and everyday existence)

This got me to thinking about the number one excuse people, who say they are writers, use when trying to justify their lack of progress. The, “I don't have enough time to write.” defense.

A lot of writers, those writing, have full time jobs that have nothing to do with writing. They also have families, bills and are forced to do the menial tasks needed for everyday life. I know Bukowski had a shitty time suck job. I also know he did his own laundry at the laundromat. (I watched Born Into This the other night and he was filmed loading his laundry into his car) I am pretty sure Vonnegut mowed his own lawn. Hell, he even sold two stroke Saabs after his first published novel!

I write this with lofty aspirations of being a full time writer one day. This may be realized on the day of my retirement from plumbing. It may come sooner. I don't know. I have never been good at reading the stars. Like any other occupation, I know that I will have to get out and meet people, join a group or workshop. When I decided to put more time and effort into writing I knew it would be hard. It has paid off in, if nothing else, the satisfaction in knowing that I am creating something. Knowing that, in the truest sense, I am a Writer. Now I just need to get out and present it.

So, to the poets and writers in Kansas City I want to say thank you for inviting me to events. I ask that you continue to do so. I also ask that, if you see me in a bookstore, walking down the street or driving through Kansas City that you would grab me by the neck and force me to attend something. I am easily lured by whiskey, beer and sometimes cheese.

Also, after checking out my blog stats, I have noticed that I have been getting hits from the U.K., Germany, Lithuania, France and the U.S.A.. Let it be known, I like to travel. Hit me up. As I said before, I am easily lured by whiskey, beer and sometimes cheese. I am always lured by cash.



© Charles Scott 2014

A Poem Written for Those of Us Waking Up and Realizing We Got on the Wrong Bus

 
I'm mad....
I am pissed off
at the whole
bill of goods.
Epiphany sucks
the marrow
out of the
strongest of bones!



© Charles Scott 2014

A Poem Written for Those of Us Waking Up and Realizing We Got on the Wrong Bus

 
I'm mad....
I am pissed off
at the whole
bill of goods.
Epiphany sucks
the marrow
out of the
strongest of bones!



© Charles Scott 2014

Saturday, May 17, 2014

A bit of Editing

The only break I got was her ducking out to snort a couple of rails and me hiding in the restroom
to catch a quick nap on the toilet. We were the only 2 people, other than the ticket lady and janitor,
in the bus station. This made certain our future as travel buddies.

A travel buddy, for those in the know, is someone you would never pal around with outside long bus trips, rides to prison or Rainbow Gatherings. They are not the sort of people you would bring home to meet the family, or want to be seen with in daylight.
 

© Charles Scott 2014