Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Advice




Never pass on the chance to use a toilet.
This is especially prudent when traveling eastward
from Barstow.
Sure, you can pull off to the side of the road,
but you run into the chance of getting bit by a scorpion
with your pants down. Nobody wants to leave a corpse
that way.
Don't eat seafood in Kansas City, or anywhere within
a 800 mile radius.
Doing so will swear one off of lobster forever.
Trust me on this one.
Never pick your nose in traffic.
You are not invisible while in your car.
Make sure to tell those dear to you that you
love them.
Make sure to tell your adversaries that you
hate them.
Say hi to your mailman. He has a hard job and enjoys idle
chit chat.
Create at least one thing in your life.
Children don't count. That's a colaboraton.
Clean out your wallet once in a while.
Sometimes you'll find cash that you forgot about
because you are getting older.
Don't tell others what to do.
Don't let others tell you what
to do.
Never make your bed.
Drink a lot of beer in moderation.
Only shop at Walmart for entertainment.
Be all that you can be,
but not in the Army.
Most of all,
don't listen to the advice from anyone
willing to give it freely.


© Charles Scott 2014

*I may have to add to this as time goes by*

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Parent of the Year (or, making beer money with dad)

 


CRACK!
I never saw the old man
move that fast.
I mean, one minute he's
holding a cue, the next
he's hitting this poor mark
with 18 oz of wood
on the side of the head.
That poor guy didn't see
it coming.
Hell, I didn't see it
coming.
"C'mon, we gotta go,"
I tell my dad as he is grabbing the guys money
off the table.
I pull dad along as stunned,
angry,
rednecks
start to head our way.
Okay, let me tell you,
I thought I was dead,
or at best
left in a coma
if we didn't leave.
If he weren't my dad
I would have left him.
I know any other
hustling,
drunk,
septuagenarian
would have died that night.
I pushed the old man
into the Cordoba,
prayed it would
start. (it did)
We peeled away,
no headlights in the
rear view.
"How much did we make?"
I asked.
"$40.00."
The rest of the ride home
was silent.



© Charles Scott 2014

Monday, May 26, 2014

From Matthew J. Hall

 This needs to be in a physical form that fits into a back pocket to be taken out more often than not and read.



From the Depths and Through the Madness

From Matthew J. Hall

 This needs to be in a physical form that fits into a back pocket to be taken out more often than not and read.



From the Depths and Through the Madness