Stories, Poems and Other Stuff...

Saturday, October 11, 2014

I am on a break..


 If you haven't noticed yet, I have taken a bit of a break from this blog. I have been focusing my efforts over at Strike Magazine, Facebook and submitting the occasional poem here and there. I will be back in due time. Until then, check out Strike Magazine...



© Charles Scott 2014

Saturday, July 05, 2014

Fear..Healthy Fear..Common Sense

 



As a writer I am forced to research certain topics in order to have some sort of subject knowledge. I must admit that I really like that aspect of writing. It enables me to learn something new, find obscure facts that help me win a game of Trivial Pursuit, and gives me the ability to correct people when they are talking out their asses. Okay, that last part never happens. I am usually the one talking out my ass.

There is a damn good reason I stumbled upon the topic of phobias.

The actual bunny trail started on a holiday outing with the family and friends. There we were, enjoying each others company, conversation and food. These events, more often than not, involve each family bringing some sort of food contribution. Everybody loads up their plates and feasts like its the last meal any of us will ever eat. (Merica!) Afterwards, we sit around, watch the kids do what kids do, talk, drink and mosey back to the table to pick at food.

I was sitting at the table, minding my own business, munching on a bag of chips. I was content. Out of nowhere one of the rugrats sat down next to me, grabbed the bag of chips and started eating. The problem is the little fellas process in eating those chips.

Hand in bag.
Chips to mouth.
Lick the flavor off his fingers.
Hand back in bag.

He must have decided that he had his fill and handed the bag back to me, taking off to the playground of dismemberment and death.

I threw up a little in my mouth at the thought of what kind of nasty microbe was lurking in that bag. I sat it down. No sooner had I sat it down another kid grabbed it and proceeded to do the same thing. I found out days later that all of the kids there that day had gotten sick. All of them except that little Typhoid Kevin who was the first to grab that bag of chips from me.

As I recalled that fateful day I found myself wondering if I was being unreasonable. Was my concern a healthy one, or did I have a phobia...Off to the internet for free medical diagnosis I went.

Here is an interesting fact. There are a lot of phobias!

Here is another fact. Some of the names associated with some of these phobias will throw you off, and others are spot on.

An example of this would be spermophobia. At first glance, one would think that it is a fear of sperm. But no, it's not that simple. It means a fear of germs.

How about bathophobia? Fear of baths it is not. It is the fear of depth.

What the hell?



Some are down right funny and I cannot believe they are actual fears.

Macrophobia: The fear of long waits. (I suffer from this to the point of anger.)

Politicophobia: The fear of politicians.

Pogonophobia: The fear of beards. (I am slightly pogonophobic in that I only fear beards worn by hipsters.)

Hierophobia. The fear of priests. (I am not too sure if this is an unhealthy fear)

Dikephobia: The fear of justice. (Okay, that made me snicker.)

Coprophobia: The fear of feces. (I think this applies to most of us)


After reading the list of phobias, I am compelled to add one more to that list.

Boogerdigitsinmychipbagphobia: the fear of kids reaching into a bag of chips.










© Charles Scott 2014

Monday, June 16, 2014

This is My Last Political Commentary Poem (or so it seems)



To all who are concerned, those reading this, and anyone half interested:

This is my last political commentary poem.
You see, I feel I have exhausted this topic
and am growing bored with it all.
Maybe I will write a sonnet, an ode
or a beautiful poem to some backwoods retreat.
Maybe I will explore more free verse
that tells the stories of people encountered...

a voice for the voiceless.

Of course, I reserve the right to rescind this declaration
in the event another Bush is elected
to the White House, or the population
of the Rotund Rascal Riders reaches 30 percent.

If at any time the Tea Party is actually taken seriously
I will have to take up my pen.
This is a moral obligation
that negates anything else I may have said
or written.

(When the snake of stupidity rears its doltish head, one must cut said head off to save oneself from madness.)

Viva la Revolution!

So, until then I leave with this:

Our freedom is a facade
covering corruption.

True freedom is within our minds.
True freedom lies within you.

When all else fails,
fight!

Fascism is alive and well
fighting the war on
terrorism.

Slavery is present
in the quest for everyday
low prices.

Racism survived the
holocaust of
equal opportunity.



© Charles Scott 2014

Monday, June 09, 2014

Thinking About Life Choices That Didn't Revolve Around Me

 
To be a true PUNK
is to be what
your parents
were not.

To cast aside
your desires,
aspirations,
fucking dreams,
for those
you brought into
this world.

Never trust a hippie.
They will always
follow
their
libido.

Real PUNKS
are what
their parents
never
were.

PARENTS!

© Charles Scott 2014

Sunday, June 08, 2014

From Russia With Love


 
 I was checking out my stats tonight and I noticed that there are 10 Russians who have been checking out my blog. It could also be Snowden checking 10 times. Hard to tell. 

I will read for food and vodka...and a plane ticket (round trip) cheap cigars and those little babushka dolls,

Charles Scott: Juggler of Words and Thoughts  ·  Stats  ›  Audience

Pageviews by Countries

Graph of most popular countries among blog viewers
EntryPageviews
United States
66
Russia
10
Germany
4
United Kingdom
1
Luxembourg
1
Malaysia
1
Slovenia
1
Ukraine
1

Pageviews by Browsers

EntryPageviews
Firefox
40 (47%)
Internet Explorer
32 (37%)
Chrome
12 (14%)
Safari
1 (1%)
Image displaying most popular browsers

Pageviews by Operating Systems

EntryPageviews
Windows
71 (83%)
Macintosh
13 (15%)
iPhone
1 (1%)
Image displaying most popular platforms
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© Charles Scott 2014

Screaming Sundays

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Do you write?
Do you spend endless hours reading and writing?
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Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Advice




Never pass on the chance to use a toilet.
This is especially prudent when traveling eastward
from Barstow.
Sure, you can pull off to the side of the road,
but you run into the chance of getting bit by a scorpion
with your pants down. Nobody wants to leave a corpse
that way.
Don't eat seafood in Kansas City, or anywhere within
a 800 mile radius.
Doing so will swear one off of lobster forever.
Trust me on this one.
Never pick your nose in traffic.
You are not invisible while in your car.
Make sure to tell those dear to you that you
love them.
Make sure to tell your adversaries that you
hate them.
Say hi to your mailman. He has a hard job and enjoys idle
chit chat.
Create at least one thing in your life.
Children don't count. That's a colaboraton.
Clean out your wallet once in a while.
Sometimes you'll find cash that you forgot about
because you are getting older.
Don't tell others what to do.
Don't let others tell you what
to do.
Never make your bed.
Drink a lot of beer in moderation.
Only shop at Walmart for entertainment.
Be all that you can be,
but not in the Army.
Most of all,
don't listen to the advice from anyone
willing to give it freely.


© Charles Scott 2014

*I may have to add to this as time goes by*