As a writer I am forced to research certain topics in order to have some sort of subject knowledge. I must admit that I really like that aspect of writing. It enables me to learn something new, find obscure facts that help me win a game of Trivial Pursuit, and gives me the ability to correct people when they are talking out their asses. Okay, that last part never happens. I am usually the one talking out my ass.
There is a damn good reason I stumbled upon the topic of phobias.
The actual bunny trail started on a holiday outing with the family and friends. There we were, enjoying each others company, conversation and food. These events, more often than not, involve each family bringing some sort of food contribution. Everybody loads up their plates and feasts like its the last meal any of us will ever eat. (Merica!) Afterwards, we sit around, watch the kids do what kids do, talk, drink and mosey back to the table to pick at food.
I was sitting at the table, minding my own business, munching on a bag of chips. I was content. Out of nowhere one of the rugrats sat down next to me, grabbed the bag of chips and started eating. The problem is the little fellas process in eating those chips.
Hand in bag.
Chips to mouth.
Lick the flavor off his fingers.
Hand back in bag.
He must have decided that he had his fill and handed the bag back to me, taking off to the playground of dismemberment and death.
I threw up a little in my mouth at the thought of what kind of nasty microbe was lurking in that bag. I sat it down. No sooner had I sat it down another kid grabbed it and proceeded to do the same thing. I found out days later that all of the kids there that day had gotten sick. All of them except that little Typhoid Kevin who was the first to grab that bag of chips from me.
As I recalled that fateful day I found myself wondering if I was being unreasonable. Was my concern a healthy one, or did I have a phobia...Off to the internet for free medical diagnosis I went.
Here is an interesting fact. There are a lot of phobias!
Here is another fact. Some of the names associated with some of these phobias will throw you off, and others are spot on.
An example of this would be spermophobia. At first glance, one would think that it is a fear of sperm. But no, it's not that simple. It means a fear of germs.
How about bathophobia? Fear of baths it is not. It is the fear of depth.
What the hell?
Some are down right funny and I cannot believe they are actual fears.
Macrophobia: The fear of long waits. (I suffer from this to the point of anger.)
Politicophobia: The fear of politicians.
Pogonophobia: The fear of beards. (I am slightly pogonophobic in that I only fear beards worn by hipsters.)
Hierophobia. The fear of priests. (I am not too sure if this is an unhealthy fear)
Dikephobia: The fear of justice. (Okay, that made me snicker.)
Coprophobia: The fear of feces. (I think this applies to most of us)
After reading the list of phobias, I am compelled to add one more to that list.
Boogerdigitsinmychipbagphobia: the fear of kids reaching into a bag of chips.
© Charles Scott 2014
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